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I became a Christian on August 7th, 1991. A dear friend of mine, from my university, Michele, invited me to a gospel service that her church had...the speaker was a man named Mark Mancini. I've never heard the gospel preached so powerfully, and so practically. I had grown up religious my whole life...but my life at that point (I was eighteen) was definitely not "Christian" in any way. I had been involved in drugs, drinking, partying, and the like throughout my years in high school, despite the fact that I was involved in athletics, music, and was an honor roll student. When I graduated high school in 1990, I went on to university at SFU. I had gotten a music bursary in high school, and my life long dream had been to goto UVIC to attend music school, but God had other plans. I got laryngitis, and my voice audition went horribly.

In my first year at SFU, I realized there was more to life than just school. I had had two of my best friends move away and I missed them desperately. I also realized that everything I had put my security and dreams in, fell thru quickly. The music idea didn't work out...my first semester, I failed two courses...I was fighting with my family...life was the most depressing for me it had ever been. I decided at that point that life was no longer worth living.

I must admit, that I would have committed suicide, but something stopped me...I prayed to God that if this is what He wanted me to be at this age (18) and that's all He wanted my life to amount to, that He would kill me by the end of the week, cuz I didn't see why it was worth living anymore. If not, then I asked Him to show me why I was here and what He wanted my life to be.

A few months later, I met Michele in my History 102 class. I became great friends with her. There was something about her that was very different from anyone I had ever known...she was real, genuine, honest, trustworthy, and she cared about me as a friend, despite knowing my worst qualities. When I found out later that she went to a church, I was skeptical. I had gone to many churches since leaving mine at 16, but all I had seen was hypocrisy and a lack of genuine love for people and for God.

But, because she was a dear friend, I said I'd goto one thing with her...it was a BBQ. I met some of her friends...some of whom, happened to goto her church. They were the most genuine, real, loving people I had ever met. I was very impacted by their love for one another and for the people around them.

When I was invited by Michele to a gospel meeting at her church, I said "Okay, why not?", but in my heart I was still skeptical.

I went, and I was blown away...first of all, the preacher didn't talk down to people (what I'd seen in my old church). Secondly, he preached from the Scriptures...and encouraged people to study out what he was preaching in the Bible on their own....thirdly, he welcomed any questions or comments after he was finished speaking...fourthly, although he was a powerful preacher, he was real, practical, relatable, and humble.

Soon afterward, I started studying the Bible with Michele, Lesa (a friend of Michele's I had met earlier), Jennifer, and Sarah (the evangelist's wife). The Bible studies I did showed me and I am absolutely certain to this day will show anyone how to deepen their relationship with God. I had before only had a one-way relationship with God...I talked to God, but I didn't listen to God much. I started studying the Bible every day and learned the fundamentals of what it means to devote one's life to God. I realized that God was indeed the missing piece in my life, the only One who could fill the void in my life that I'd previously tried to fill with academics, athletics, music (my lifelong dream), and relationships.

All these things are insecure and can let you down...God will never let you down. These things are untrustworthy at times, God is trustworthy always. These things are unfulfilling, God has come to give us life to the full. Friends will let you down, God will never let you down. Thankfully, God allowed me to learn these lessons at a very young age.

In place of being selfish and prideful, I learned I could strive to be selfless and humble like Jesus was...and let God take care of my needs. Not only that, but God wanted me to have a purpose: the help others get to know Him and have an eternal relationship with Him. That is a purpose and a gift I can offer to someone freely that not even death itself can take away.

After 4 months of studying the Bible, I decided to commit my life to Christ. It's been over 9 years now since I've become a disciple of Christ, and I don't regret it for anything. Someone once asked me how long it took me to become a true disciple of Christ. I was tempted to say 4 months, but in reality now, I know it took me 19 years to become a disciple...and praise God for how He's changed me and for what God's done in my life...

God's used my life to help bring 11 people to Christ - they are all friends of mine... and 7 are still faithful, growing in their relationship with God...disciples to this very day.

In order to have a lifelong relationship with God...requires effort. I'm committed to having a daily walk with Him (Bible study, prayer) ("Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength"), being an active part of the fellowship, sharing my faith with people, building deep relationships with people ("love one another"), studying the Bible with others to help them develop a powerful, dynamic relationship with God, and using my talents for the glory of God (singing). I share my testimony here to hopefuly inspire and encourage the person reading this to take the first step in a lifelong journey to pursuing and having an amazing relationship with God.

I am so grateful to God to be a disciple...and that He continues to mold me...shape me...and change me continually....from the inside out. This is all for the glory of God.

Some of my favourite passages in the Bible:

Matthew 28:18-20:
About the purpose God gives us as disciples
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
About seeking God & God's plan for our lives...
John 13:34-35
About loving God and one another...
Luke 15
The parable of the lost son.
Acts 2:36-42
How to become and live as a disciple of Jesus Christ

Thank you for taking the time to read this... In Him, Lesley M. =)

This is a poem a friend from my church passed along to me...It definitely visually depicts how much God loves us and how grateful we should be for Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for us.

It's a bit long, but worth reading...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked". I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed". The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read", "Lies I Have Told", "Comfort I Have Given", "Jokes I Have Laughed At". Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I Have Yelled At My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done In My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath At My Parents". I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 25 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting, each signed with my own signature.

When I came to the file marked "Lustful Thoughts", I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!"

In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empy it and burn the cards. BUt as I took it at one end & began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.

Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With". The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box, not more than 3 inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach & shook through me. I fell on my knees & cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all.

The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then, as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files & read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned & looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands & began to cry again. He walked over & put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up & walked back to the wall of files...

Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file, and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile & began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file & walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder & said, "It is finished."

I stood up, & He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written...

(Anonymous)


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Lesley Miller

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